When the clouds lift

I think there's a danger in writing a blog like this that it could become all too easy to focus on the negative. Depression is a difficult illness, that's not in question. But, and this is so important to remember (I'm writing this to remind myself as much as anyone else), it doesn't last forever. I'm going to say that again. It doesn't last forever. Episodes come on, they're horrible, painful, upsetting, at times boring, frustrating, there's a wealth of words I could use to describe them. But that's for another day. Today, I want to keep it simple. today I want to focus on the fact that it's possible to live with depression, and be happy. Hence the sunny spells part of this name. For me, the feeling of being myself again, of being able to do the things I want to do, as well as the things I need to do, is just wonderful. I'm not sure I'll ever take my mental health for granted, because I don't know when the ground might shift beneath me again. So many parts of my life go beyond my reach when I'm depressed, so many parts that I normally enjoy become overwhelmingly difficult. But then I start to feel better. At the risk of sounding clich├ęd, it really is the little things, and they're the things that I need to focus on when I'm low. But today, despite the actual rain outside (as opposed to the occasional stormy spells of my mind), I've had a lovely lazy morning with my family. I'm looking forward to coffee and a chat with a good friend. I might take my dogs for a walk later. Or maybe not. I might bake. Read. Who knows? But the point is, all of these things are, right now, within my reach. This is my life. Depression is not my life.

Labels: , , ,