Today is better. I'm tired, but I'm calmer, and being away from the routine of home is lovely. The kids are entertained, and we have some nice things planned for the next few days, both for the four of us as a family, and for self and Hubby on our own. It's bringing back to me how important it is to slow down, and just let the day happen.
Let's take yesterday. We needed to be on the road early as Hubby had to be in town for 8.30. We were also keen to get out of Galway as early as possible (race week, you either love it or hate it!! We don't love it......) Anyone who has ever tried to load a car around small people while on a timetable will appreciate that it's not the easiest of exercises. But we managed, and we actually got Hubby into town with time to spare. We were here before lunchtime, with no fixed plan for the rest of the day. Cue anxiety for me. When I'm not feeling great, I find it very hard to sit still. I need to keep moving, and have an end point in mind, and if I don't have one, I'll create one. I was worrying about how we'd keep the kids entertained, how I'd manage a few hours of sitting and chatting..........and as it turned out I managed fine. And this is the funny part, although maybe funny is the wrong word. I always do. But then I promptly forget that I always manage. We had a lovely day in the end. There were a few hours relaxing with Hubby's family, then a few hours with mine, and Hubby headed out for the evening. When the kids started getting scratchy, we put on a movie. Instead of fighting bedtime war with M, I decided I'd sleep with her, and once she knew I'd be up soon, there was no problem. I went to bed feeling a lot better than I had yesterday morning.
Today, we learned some valuable lessons. First and foremost, Dublin drivers take no prisoners and god help you if you end up in the wrong lane, especially in a g-reg car!! M is, as yet, a bit too small to appreciate the finer points of Viking Dublin. That and allowing her to choose quite heavy clothes on a hot day led fairly quickly to melt down territory. On the other hand, D had a blast. Admittedly the pigeon chasing and ice cream outside was probably as much fun as the actual touristy bit, but either way he was happy. And now? They're playing away with Nana and Grandad, Hubby is dozing and I get a few minutes to check in and see how I'm doing. There's a slight edge of anxiety, but nothing I can't handle. I'm looking forward to a nice evening with some old friends, and not a child in sight, and then a few more days of relaxing before heading home.
Right now, in this moment, things are good. It's so important to be able to just slow down, and get some space. That's what's been missing this last while, for both of us, we kind of lost sight of that. That's what these few days are about - getting that back.
Labels: anxiety, holidays, perspective, routine, slowing down