This isn't a proper post, it's kind of an interlude. So many of you have contacted me privately, or left really supportive comments on here, and I just haven't been able to get back to you yet. I'm sorry about that, and I will, when I can. In the meantime, I just wanted to say a huge, huge thank you. I don't think you can know how much it has helped me to be able to have this space to think things through, and to know that there are people out there who will not only read, but identify with with what I've written. It helps keep me sane (I use that word in the loosest possible sense!!) With the support I've gotten here, I've learned an awful lot about myself, and also about the nature of depression. I've managed to avoid contacting Therapist on more than one occasion, which is HUGE!! (and for which I am sure she's also very thankful) I'm mostly just incredibly grateful to anyone who takes the time to read this, and I hope that I've been even a fraction of the help to you that you have been to me. I think I'll be able to sleep tonight.