This last month there's been so much going on nationally about mental health, about encouraging people to talk. We've had Cycle Against Suicide, Darkness into Light, and the Green Ribbon campaign is on-going. I'm an Ambassador for See Change. I've actively been promoting the idea of how much talking helps for over two years now via this blog. And yet when push came to shove this last few weeks, I've found talking at best almost impossible, and at worst, useless. I lost perspective, utterly and completely, and I lost control. One of the things that people with borderline are really, really good at is self destruction. Recently, I've made something of an art form of that trait.
I've spent the day trying to figure out how I feel, what to write, how much to say. I drafted an epic post, but it's not finished. I'm really tired right now, and I'm not thinking clearly. I need some time to process the last few days, because it's been full on and really quite nasty. I need to write, and write, and write some more. So I will. Once I've got it straight in my head, I'll tell you about it. And I won't disappear again without warning.
Thanks for the support x
Labels: behaviour, blogging, borderline personality disorder, disordered thinking, impulse control